Wednesday, 12 December 2012

Ahhhh!!!! It's effing Christmas, bitches!!!!!

God, I so so so love this time of year so freaking much! Idk why. Like I become a hermit and barely wash or brush my hair... I'm kidding - I have OCD, I have to bathe. (Oooh that reminds me, I need soap. *types up text asking husband if he can get soap then remembers that she already had this convo and they agreed they would get it at the weekend*)

I am so freaking poorly. I have snot coming out of me like my face is Niagara fucking Falls... (Niagara... it sounds like Viagra... Hee hee... Pav, Ev and Maa if you are reading this... LOL!!!!!). I feel like absolute hell tbh. I'm all wrapped up in my snuggle-suit (onesie for those people that wish to call it that). I have a duvet and a hot water bottle on the sofa waiting - nay, beckoning me to come over and snuggle within it's soft, warm, loving embrace... Okay, getting a little creepy about the sofa. The heater is on and I have The Golden Compass on (I have it plused on the SKY box).

My Maa came to visit me a few months back and while she was here got me this as a I-came-to-visit-you present:





So I thought that this year I decided I would make some of my presents so I made my Maa her's first cuz she was going away and I miss her desperately so I thought it would be good for her to have something.  This is what I made (Don't laugh):



Can I just say, right? I was the kid in the textiles class that screamed everytime the sewing machine was turned on. I got my friends to my that bean bag thing and the I spent ages designing my cushion so I didn't have to make it. I hated any tech class - Food tech., Textiles and the one where we made a clock - I got my mate to help make an egg clock. I was shit at cooking, shit at drawing, shit at making anything, shit at using tools - basically, I was just shit at everything that didn't include a book and not actually having to do anything. Before I had a fear of everything I made a teacosy for my Maa when I was like 4... That was the last thing I made where I didn't think the sewing machine was going to suck me in and sew me up into some horrific giant human voodoo doll. I genuinely thought that would happen - that or I would stab the needle through my finger like that girl did a few years ago. Anyways, so yeah I was proper proud of myself and then I made these:



The top one is for my sister and the bottom one is for my brother. They kinda look like them! My sister is a little podgy and my nickname for her is "suto hathi" which translates as Little Elephant and my brother is... like me - weird and our limbs are too long for our body. Hahaha I just noticed one of the legs is longer than the other on all of them, the arms have the same dealio! Haha.

A few weeks back me and the mister went to watch the lights being switched on in the centre! It was fun - lots of people - but fun. My favourite bit was probably The Loveable Rogues followed by my husbands face when Chico was grinding Santa... Not nice. The fireworks were good though and I got flashing rabbit ears that made me so happy.


It's funny cuz too the right was like the art gallery and the museum and the town hall on the left was two strip clubs, a betting shop and I think a Costa Coffee...


Hmmm...
OMG have you seen Harvey Nichols? Wtf is up with their window displays. My husband likes it, I have to admit that it does totally steal the limelight in that area. Here have a look:


It's like Lady boys of Bangkok meets high end fashion. Weird. But then again they always have some freaky shit going on!

I kinda like the Victoria Quarter's decor! What do you think? The mister has branded it as pretentious. Sometimes, I wonder whether I am pretentious. Idk I grew up in a very privileged environment and always got what I wanted. He is always teasing me about my stupid "posh" accent and the weird mannerisms I have. It's funny until the expensive taste comes out - no, I'm joking, I've never met anyone who loves spoiling their other half as much as he does me.
  

I kinda liked The Lights decorations - they are a little odd  to look at but they are super sparkly and pretty.


Gosh, I am feeling really bad, back to sleep for me I think. 

Bye- Bye!

Monica
         xxx

Thursday, 6 December 2012

Fuck Yes!

I just wanted to say how grateful I am to everyone who has read my shitty little blog. 

United Kingdom
225
United States
48
Russia
10
Germany
4
Canada
2
France
2
Turkey
2
Bangladesh
1
Norway
1

That there, that silly table is all of you. Your views and where from. They may only a few but they mean the world to me. It's like "Hey... Someone actually is interested in what I have to say". I know I only write now and again and there are spelling mistakes and I go off on a random tangent but it's getting to the point where Monica Said So is getting views everyday and that's something  am really proud of. I started this blog because of what is in the description - Ugly Betty finished and I was a little lost but now I write because I want to maybe make you laugh when you read something silly I have written or give you something else to talk about when you are at school or w/e. The thought of making one person laugh at me is one that makes me kinda smile.

I would quickly like to say thanks to a few girls! They are the ones that got a text saying "READ THIS!!!" when I started my blog up. They read it even if it's boring to them (*ahem* Ev*ahem*) or maybe they are really busy (*ahem* Pav and Alison *ahem*) or and they give feedback on it (*ahem* Chadni and Salma *ahem*). Thank you to my Maa who I have mentioned a lot - she's read it too. My husband who reads every post even though he never has any idea of what they are on about. My uncles who said they was proud of me for writing a blog. 

I will write more, I promise... Kind of. Like Christmas is coming up and I'm making presents and I'm a little backed up on stuff so be nice but I will post!

Keep your eyes open for a new post!


Love,

Monica
         xxx

https://twitter.com/MonicaSaidSo__x

Wednesday, 5 December 2012

Rihanna: Sell out?

 What is that stupid girls problems? All she ever sings about now is "little RiRi" if you get what I mean. And wtmf is up with all the stupid gang shit. Her Dad was a warehouse supervisor and her Mum was an accountant, like yeah her dad did more drugs than GlaxoSmithKline but who's Dad in the music industry is totally clean?

I think the thing that makes it funny is the fact that the silly little girl was an army cadet... Hardly thug-life, Rihanna... or is it Robyn? And guess who was her drill sergeant? Only Shontelle - yes, that Shontelle, the one who only wore a t-shirt and had Jimmy Choo's she was fed up of wearing. It just gets stupider and stupider.

Like she was signed at 16 to Syndicated Rhythm and just 2 years later she was signed to Jay so where the fuck did the little baby get time to forge her name as a ruthless gangster? She wanted to well at school and when she was in school she was in a cutsie three-piece with class mates... again I shall say it - Hardly thug-life.

Have you heard Music of the Sun and A Girl Like Me? Could there be any albums that were any cuter? Each track is sweet, melodic and just like... like really innocent tbh. But you know what I liked every track and so did her target market - little teens. She's just a little girl having fun. Dustings of really good love songs; she was criticized for it being maybe too old for her minor vocals but tbh she pulled it off. 

Fave tracks from both albums:
- Pon de replay
- Music of the Sun
- Let me
- Rush
- SOS
- Unfaithful
- Break it off
- We Ride
- A Girl Like Me
- P.S I'm still not over you
- A million miles away

Then Good Girl Gone Bad came out... This saw her begin to grow up a little but still she was the Rihanna we love. Still the tracks were fun, more dancy and really really good. I love every track on that album bar Say It, I really mean that. Every track is awesome. Umbrella was at UK number one for 10 weeks. It has sold over 4 million copies in just digital downloads as of this year. It went Platinum I think like 20 times and Gold twice. Just pure talent. Push Up On Me is reminiscent of Don't stop the Music but still a damn good track. Breakin' Dishes! OMG This doesn't get enough airplay tbh. Shut Up and Drive - awesome song, awesome video. Hate That I Love You  saw our jaws drop at the prospect of Ne-Ri or Ri-Yo. Sell Me Candy and Lemme Get That showed a little golddigger side. Rehab took our breath away and not just cuz Justin Timberlake was in it look just... Uh! Sorry had to wipe the dribble of my face. Question Existing gave us the real side of RiRi. And finally Good Girl Gone Bad  the track itself... It was a great song - good vocals, great lyrics ans awesome meaning, it was better than they typical daddy issues song... although she had that too... Who doesn't? She worked with Timberland on alot of her tracks and Ne-yo too and we all know they are in no way gangster - I mean Ne-yo released Year of the Gentleman! Props to him for that!

2 years later saw the release of R-Rated... This is where things get a little... Raunchy shall we say and the whole hard-ass shit begins to come in. I mean even the name is stupid, anyways... Mad House! OMG I listened to this song so many times before I even listened to the rest of the album - I loved it. Mad House and Wait Your Turn and were produced by Chase and Status!! So so so good. Hard and Rockstar 101 (feat. SLASH!!!) both amazing and produced by The Dream. Ne-yo comes in For Stupid In Love and Russian Roulette which I am told didn't too well in The States but the UK quite liked it. G4L... You know what I'm gunna say, right? "Gangster for life"? Where did this track come from? It's just a bit thick - I like the beat and the vocals but... RiRi is beginning to show that Thug- Life shit. Anyways... Fire Bomb and Rudeboy are just too good! Te Amo needed more airplay tbh it was such a great track putting aside it sounds like Miss. Independent by Ne-yo. The rest of the tracks are just forgettable if I'm honest. The album did no where near as good as any of it's predecessors.

Then we get Loud... This album mainly sees her work with Stargate whom she had worked with before for odd tracks on her other albums. What's My Name and Only Girl In The World were the most successful tracks on that album. This is the album where she just turns into a dominatrix. We get tracks like - S&M, Skin, Raining Men, Man Down and Love the Way You Lie (prt 2) just pure unadulterated sex. S&M video was deemed to extreme for Tv with it's reference to daddy issuses (ugh), her being a slut, BDSM, sex dolls, lady gaga look alike, Ri dressed as a giant sperm, lesbian kissing and her sucking off a banana... just down right weirdness . I kinda like Skin (that sounds wrong) it's an okay track. The best bit of Raining Men is the end. Man down... it got covered by Lil' Kim, we'll leave it at that. Fading, Complicated and California King Bed are the love songs we know Rihanna for. It did better than her last album though, I suppose.


Talk That Talk... The odd thing is tracks from that are doing well now even though when they were released like a year ago no one cared. The only tracks I know from that album are Where Have You Been, You da One and We Found Love and of those three I like two... well, one. What? We Found Love ended up getting over played and we ALL got a little fed up, you know it's true. It was called her worst album to date. This album did okay-ish, if you go by her last two albums. 

And now we finish up with Unapologetic. I haven't heard it yet but I am actually praying it will be good.

But I think I speak for a lot of Rihanna's Navy... Can we have the old RiRi back, please? You have left us behind and we just want you back.

Anyways, I apologise for this being such a rubbish blog. I was just really pissed off at Rihanna for turning into a sell-out.

What do you think?

Monica
         xxx

https://twitter.com/MonicaSaidSo__x

Monday, 26 November 2012

Right...

I haven't posted because well... the last few weeks have been so hard.

My Dhada (Grandfather) passed away on the 8th, it was my little brother's birthday on the 12th and Dhada was buried on the 13th.


I obviously went down south to attend the funeral. I stayed a few days few my Maa and the little'uns... I have never lost a person to death... so this was my first. But idk it was the other things that came with losing him that I didn't expect. Things like seeing my Maa and Chachu (Uncle) - the two people who are always strong, my Maa is like my best friend, sister and everything else in between and my Chachu is essentially my Dad. When I want my dad - I want my Chachu; to see them so broken was devastating, seeing my siblings not really understand what was going on and wondering what they were feeling, usually we are so in sync - I couldn't figure out if it was just that I was so upset or if that I just didn't understand them because I was too old, leaving my husband alone and being away from him for the first time since we had got married and seeing a non-living being.


You know, they say that you never forget that last sight of their face- it's true. It's been a few weeks but even now my Dhada's face comes into my mind and I can't help the tears that come. It must be so hard for the people around grievers - you can't feel that loss so how are you meant to empathise, if you have lost a loved one you can sympathise but you don't know what that person meant to them. Idk...

i have sort of shut down a little. I only want to talk to my really close friends and even then I'm not really sure of what to say. I'm pretty clingy at the moment - atleast I think I am.


It's so odd because my last post was on the day he died. I wrote that in the morning and in the evening my Maa called me and told me. I cried for him that morning when I first tried to write that post. I missed him so much... Weird. 


My Dhada used to say funny thing to me all the time. I remember when I was younger I was really insecure about my looks (I'm the ugly duckling of my family) and he used to try so hard to assure me I was beautiful - "You have a face like Priyanka Chopra..." was one of the things that stick out, mainly because she was the 2000 Miss. World :/ Good try, much. Thats what a grandfather is for, right? To show you what men can be - how they should be before you find your prince charming. To love you. To give you advice. To be there for you. A little grand daughter will always live inside of me.


Losing my Dhada has done a few good things though. He always loved a hard lesson - you never got anything easy... unless you were a super cute, amazing, beautiful little grand daughter. It has taught me that life is short. weirdly, it has brought me and my Maa a lot closer. I really want to be a good person now. Like more than ever. The last few months have really taught me the meaning of what I claim are my core beliefs- I didn't really know what they meant all these years.. They were just words I liked the sound of I suppose.


My Maa is the Angel I saw when I was little. My siblings are mine to love and protect. My husband is... well, him and I love him so much and I  have to show him everyday why he loves me back, that he can trust me and that I have grown.


Forgive the ones who have hurt you. Don't hate, just sit back and let Karma do it's thing. Try to be as happy as you can. Be a child for as long as possible because you only have a short amount of time to be so, but you have the rest of your life to be an adult. Cherish, protect and love the ones who belong to you - not just from the world but from yourself too.


Idk... This was probably my most morbid post and I'm not sure when I will post again but it will be soon.


Love,


Monica

         xxx

Thursday, 8 November 2012

Aagrah: The review.

Okay, so I grew up in the hospitality business, restaurant kitchens were my playground. Some of my earliest memories are in my Dhada's restaurant - running around the customers, messing up the cutlery, all the staff giving me almond slices, the bar girls making me my drink (lemonade and lime cordial with a green straw and a pink umbrella) and my favourite memory of all is my Dhada picking me up, putting me on the bar, feeding me my very first cashew nuts and making me laugh for hours on end. My entire family on both sides are food lovers through and through which makes it hard to stay a size 6 ;) 

What I am trying to stress is that I pretend to know what a restaurant should be. I am the worst person to eat out with because all I actually do is sit and scrutinize everything - it's a nightmare.

This is me after having eaten some really hot salad and my face wasn't working properly. 
Btw that's the reflection of the place in the background.



Sooooooooooooooooooooooooo... Aagrah... I am ready to do my worst. 

So I will give you are play-by-play of our evening...

Walking up to the restaurant you can't help but notice the mooooohoooosiiiive BBC sign above the beautiful panoramic view of the main area and bar, instantly you begin to envisage all the glitz and glam of the media world - news reporters laughing and showing a different to themselves, tv stars reenacting scenes and producers talking shop. You are greeted with a traditionally dressed doorman who seems so lovely, I genuinely wanted to hug him - he reminded me of Princess Jasmine's Dad... in the best possible way... Oh I hope he doesn't read this... I meant it in a nice way though.

We were then passed on to a very nice man who seated us straight away at a table we requested upon arrival - a window table... I like windows :) He left us with the menus and that's when it went a little down hill... According to one of the MANY waiters (believe me there is a reason why I put MANY as MANY, there are far to many of them and I WILL come back to that... I like putting words in capital letters... HEE HEE... Sorry) this Aagrah had been there for the past six years... The menus told a different story. It wasn't what was in them; it was simply how they looked. They just need replacing. It's the first thing you are giving to the customer... It should reflect your establishment or is it just me? They looked like a teddy that you stopped loving a few years back - ragged and in need of love. The tables were far to over crowded with just stuff. Plates, menus, glasses and a napkin that was folded in the most generic way. I'll put it into perspective the table we were sat at was originally set out for 4; when we came, the other two placements were cleared and it still seemed like there was just too much going on. Okay, then we ordered our drinks, poppadoms and chutney tray - they took awhile tbh but I had this...

It was a rasberry, cranberry fusion thing and it was soooooooooo yummy as you can tell :)

We started timing how long service took as a game after a while and the shortest time was 4 and a half minutes when they were moderately busy to about 10 minutes when they had just about every table packed out. We nom-ed slightly greasy poppadoms (my husband said just fried ones are a little greasy... I've had just fried poppadoms and they aren't greasy tbh like literally I have been sat on one of the long deep freezers and handed one just after its been fried... Greasy.. that's a funny word.) 

Chutney Traaaaaay!


The mango chutney was odd - it had too much of some seed in it - I think it was.. umm oh, shit- I can only remember the Bengali name... Kali jeera... wait lemme wiki it... I think it's black caraway seeds... I feel dumb now. Anyway, there was a favourite of my husband's - chopped onions in what he said was tomato sauce... I love him even with onion breath lol. Their mint sauce? I loved - it was yummy, sharp and just great, you would be surprised how hard it actually is to get it right but they did! They had a chili sauce thing that I am pretty sure had tamarind in it and that made my face happy. So far okay, right?

We leafed through the if-I-had-T-rex-arms-this-would-be-perfect menus and I loved boring writing but the layout was easy to follow. The little explantions of each dish were good, the menu was diverse and had everything you need plus a little more. We both had Lashen Mushrooms for starters, which was this:


I had to admit the presentation was disappointing. The description was so promising - grilled mushrooms with garlic, herbs, ginger, lime and green chilies served with salad. I thought it was going to be two of those umm... Portabello(?) mushrooms but nope... They tasted okay. Idk my husband didn't like them.


 My husband ordered the Lahori Chargha for main-  he loved it tbh I have rarely seen him so quiet, the only problem he had was the seriously random cuts of chicken; some with just bone, some perfect chunks and others were small. That may just sound like I'm being picky but it also does have an effect on the presentation slightly plus implicates eating it - do you want a bit of bone sticking out of your gum? He also - between mouthfuls of food commented on the portion size; they were actually really good). Little me had THIS:


I liked it... for the first couple of minutes. It does look epic. The salad was so yummy! The courgette was cook just enough but the aubergine was under-cooked, the peppers was nice, the little mound of rice tasted like a... well it tasted a lot like the mango chutney - it had a lot of black caraway seeds (?) and if that's that spice you like then yum! But I made a face and then did this:

Is it me or does it look like I have a moustache? LOL

As you can see my drink was finished so I ordered an apple fizzer...It was more apple than fizz until I drunk half of it, but it was a yummy mocktail.

Then we started to get a little bored so we had a look around. Things started getting a little dire... Lemme go back to my mentioning of the waiting staff... Urgh, just urgh. There are a few rules of front of house that must be adhered to at all times as far as I am concerned:

- Do not be loitering around in groups when you aren't busy.
You should position yourselves around the room at equal intervals so the whole floor is covered and attended to. If that isn't possible then okay stand together but don't have your own little party. The entire time I was there the service was really quite slow and it seemed like there were too many staff on the floor with not much to do. The amount of times I looked up and saw just a group of staff near the kitchen door looking like Asian Blazin' Squad was ridiculous. 

- Don't speak in another language. It's rude. The customers don't understand what you are saying and it can make them uncomfortable. I understand a few Asian dialects but I didn't like it.

- Be in sync with the rest of the team. Everyone seemed to be doing their own thing. One guy after being asked to clear the chutney tray from our table did so, then random got us another one, a few minutes later another one popped up and took it away. Why make a job? It saves times being on the same page. One guy - I didn't catch his tag- but he had a Swarovski pen (! LOL), he seemed to be doing the most and seemed to be the happiest about it.

- Clear a table before you serve the next course. There shouldn't be someone clearing and someone serving at the same time. It looks messy and is slightly confusing for the customers. The table next to us has this hitch - a beautiful table of blonde ladies (seriously they were all blonde - it was like a Reese Witherspoon convention) and they just looked at one another as the charade went on.

- NEVER (yes, I capitalised it, oh yeah, I went there) use a hand gesture on a customer. If a customer uses one on you and that isn't the conduct of your restaurant then have your Maitre d'hotel deal with it politely, between a close-knit team if they are okay with it then again it's cool but on a customer that is like... really bad (I'm too shocked to put anything else).

- Okay the next one is kinda sexist but here we go. Do not have women working in an Asian establishment. Just don't do it. Seriously, it just distracts the boys and it degrading for the girl. She is subjected to all sorts of snide and dirty comments and the worst bit is she won't even know it. And lo! behold I saw exactly why I know it is a bad idea when I was there - they have a lovely, polite, pretty, young girl who is evidently good at her job but she was a distraction, plain and simply. My husband- who thinks I'm just a chauvinist and doesn't really agree with this notion - actually had to agree with me for once. I know I should be all for it because I'm a women and women should stick together and my Maa is an awesome business women but I just cannot do it. Sorry, ladies!

Okay, having said all of that slating I have to admit that they were super helpful when around and we never felt rushed. They cleaned and set tables straight after a customer had left and I loved their uniform - it was smart and well suited to the restaurant. 

Okay then we got really bored and did this:
See if you can spot the onion rings and the smiley face.

And this:
Yes, that is an onion ring on the flower.

And then this... :/
Hee hee... Jasmindar has green hair.

Then we got back to food and talking about the layout... I use layout in the loosest sense. It was then I realized how claustrophobic it was, the tables don't seem to have an order and you know you have like a centre piece, right? You know a piece of art or whatever that goes in the centre... Nope.. They have three... They have what appeared to be 4 very short, stumpy light boxes and either side of it are... Well... Umm... weird fake metal palm tree things... Umm have a look, here:
You can't see the proper gay tree trunk but there is one.

Personally, if they really had to use that thing they should have just used the leaves and branches but had it as a unique type of chandelier-y-thing, with the proper lighting it would look like an awesome centre piece. 
Also they had so many random things like this:
Why is there a stork? WTF has a stork got to do with anything? T-T"

And what the Hell was up with all the different types of flower? Dead Freesias, Orchids, Giant Daisy things and just, just basically an entire florist. Oh and yes, it did say DEAD. I checked the tables I could see from my table... There were dying flower on each of the tables. D-i-s-a-p-p-o-i-n-t-i-n-g.

My husband was joking that the person who designed it just sort of went in to a store and said "I'll have one of those, one of those... umm, that... oh and one stork that looks like it wants to leave... ten of those lights..." It's then I looked over at the bar... and then back at the main area... Then back to the bar... then again back to the main area. They didn't match. Like they could constitute as two very nice different rooms in two different places I felt there was no fusion between the two. They are both nice in their own right but don't complement each other which I think is a shame. I loved the bar- genuinely. I did love the bar, it was different and just really imposing and just it looked like a bar should... okay that didn't sound as good as it did in my head...

Anyways... getting back to the food... We finished and the table was cleared and I ordered dessert... I like desserts, sweet things make me happy :) I was handed the dessert menu... And well.. Okay let me first explain that my Maa has a 25 seater restaurant in the middle of freaking no where and her desserts are far more diverse and interesting. I was really disappointed. I didn't expect something so generic and boring, it was like any other Asian restaurant - and as far as I have read they like to make sure there are "personal touches". I'm pretty sure if you contact a desserts provider and ask for good desserts they will give you that list -don't get me wrong it's good but it is boring and standard, when you go to Aagrah you do not expect ordinary at all- they have shot themselves in the foot with having BBC plastered above their own sign; you just want it to be a little different.

Anyways, I made my choice. A sticky toffee pudding which... looked like this...

... After I had eaten all of it because it was so yummy :B


You know what? Even though I have bitched about this so so so much tbh me and the mister had a great time. We did, seriously! Granted it was mostly because we made our own fun but still we had a great time. But it was a good night and I would go... no okay, that's lying and I recently make a promise I wouldn't lie anymore but yeah, I would recommend it to anyone who may enjoy it! Definitely :/

Okay so that was my review on Aagrah and yeah! I got stuff to get on with so Bye!!!


Monica
         xxx

Friday, 2 November 2012

Ten things you should go do right now

1) Do you always find your hair everywhere? I have such long hair and it gets everywhere. After a shower I clean the drain so it's hair free. Ladies, men hate hairballs plus it's just super gross so why not right now just go and check your drain to see if it's hair free and not looking like the mouth of a cat after a licking!


2) Tip boiling hot water down each one of your drains.
Seriously, I do this once a week. It just ensures that your plugs are smell free and flow normally. You know that every once in a while where your plug gets blocked and you need to call in a plumber and he finds God knows what down your pipes. You clean your kitchen work surface so why not your drains?

3) Do me a favour - get up, go to your kettle and check if there is a layer of limescale. If there is then grab your lemon juice, tip a load into the kettle along with water and boil it a couple of times, adding a little more lemon juice each time. Tip it all out and do it again until it's all gone. It'll keep your kettle alive for longer!

4) Clean your microwave! FFS! What is it with people not cleaning their microwaves!? It is gross!! You put food in their duuuuuuuuuudes!!! Keep it clean! Would you put food on a dirty plate? It is so easy- just grab a microwaveable bowl add water to it lemon juice, a little surface cleaner and just microwave it for about 10 minutes and just wipe clean. It literally could not be any easier!

5) Go to your beloved shoe collection and give them a wipe. You have no idea what a simple clean does to a pair of shoes. It's all they need to last a little longer and they just look nicer.

6) Your makeup bag is your best friend, no? So when was the last time you cleaned it out. I guarantee you right now if you go tip it out on your bed you will find eyeliner sharpening, random lids, cotton buds, maybe a wipe or two, empty/dried up tubes of mascara and bits of just stuff that you don't even know what they are. Get your bottle of Dettol out, splash some on a towel and give each and every one of your bits of makeup and then wipe your damn makeup bag so it's free of black streaks and orange smears. You'll thank me.

7) When was the last time you cleaned your laptop/computer? You do know it harbors more than your toilet, right? Basically, you are touching your own ass and everything else that goes down your toilet. Niiiiice. You are a minger.

8) Are all your DVD's in the right boxes? No? Then go freaking do it, please. It's stupid.

9) Your medicine cupboard? How is it looking? A mess right. Just give it a little Dettol love and re-organising. It'll look so much nicer.

10) Go give all of your dishtowels a good soaking a washing. Please? I mean you wipe your hands on it. Just keep it clean.


Anyways, having sounded like a complete OCD freak I am now gone to do some cooking. :)


Byyyyyyyyyyyyyyeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!


Monica
         xxx


Monday, 29 October 2012

Booooooooooooooks...

I'm sooooooooo bored. I have like the sleeping pattern of a child - when you want them to sleep they are wide awake, I was awake basically all night and now I am like 'AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!'. Anyways so now it's half one and I'm listening to a cover of Justin Bieber's 'Baby' (can I just defend myself though?  It's a good cover. Here is the link http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=931OkrHGRMY Lemme know what you think!) and idk what to do with my silly little self so I thought... BLOG! (Usher - Yeah just came on... Oh yeaaaaaaaaah)

I have unhealthy obsession with books; if you left me in Waterstones' (with the apostrophe, hmph) for a night I would sit in one corner of the store and read my way through the night and be so pleased with myself and beg not to be taken out... but libraries are a little scary. Give me a book for any and all occasions and I am more than happy. Basically, I am weirdo who loves books. (Fergie - Glamorous is playing now).

Me and my Maa had a just over £1000 worth of books and nearly all of them had been read. Anyways, I thought seen as it's Autumn/Winter I would write up a list of top reads for the freezing seasons.

Now with this time of year I always find a good horror/thriller just the thing to settle down with on a cold, windy evening with a cup of hot chocolate and chocolate hob nobs :) Ohhhh Lana Del Rey - National Anthem... "You can't keep your hands off me or your pants on" LOL

So number one to start off the list...

1) Breakneck - Erica Spindler
This book makes the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end. There aren't many deaths but it's just the wording and how the book is constructed  Kitt and Riggio have been through hell and back and are as close as partners can be. After a devastating blow, their worlds - professional and personal mare put to the test. They are looking for a cold blooded killer with an unclear motive. Will the deaths continue or will they find out how close to the bone this really is?

2) Dark Harbor - David Hosp
F***, is all I have to say. This book is immense. Death after death after death. Do not take this with a faint heart. It starts with a bang to say the least and that is just the prologue; Chapter One begins with the words "Her body was found..." tell me you are not already hooked? I was just glued to this read. Even at night and tbh I do not advise reading it at night! I love this book so much. Each of the 6 victims were prostitutes and her heart is cut out almost immediately after being brutally murdered however one of the doesn't quite fit the bill - she was a law student with prospects. Is this just the psychopath tripping up or is it a copycat? Seriously, read this book. Don't put it down until you finish it. It is too good. I would like just to clarify I am not a closet rapist/psychopath - I just like book where people die... okay that sounds worse... ummm...

3) Can't Let Go - Jane Hill
This is a story of how a secret can tear you apart, it haunts your every move, thought and moment. Lizzie went to America  just after she left school just like many girls do however she didn't come back the way most girls do: a little more mature, worldly and perhaps not a virgin but Lizzie came back Beth. The incident that took place on her holiday changed her to the very core. She tries to put it behind her, she builds a life but then things fall apart before her very eyes. Read this with a little caution - it is really quite graphic in places but not gory.

4) Suffer the Children - Adam Creed
It's slightly Dexter-ish. An identified peado is murdered in his own home- an event that seems to set of a domino effect of chaos all over London. He must explore the vile underbelly of The Smoke to get to the bottom of this case. Now, I had a little problem getting into this book - idk why I thought it may have been the writing style but once I did I was utterly devoted. I had to finish. Read it you won't regret it.

5) Nobody's Child - Micheal Seed with Noel Botham
This is book is the life story Micheal Seed. This book made me cry with nearly every single page. I could not put it down - no one could surely go through so much? The had to be a happy ending. There just had to be. Please if you read a book in your life make it this one. Even just by purchasing it you assist the NSPCC.

6) Leaving the World - Douglas Kennedy
This book tore me apart, put me back together and gave me a whole new outlook in life. I have never wept whilst reading a book like I did when I read this. How he manages to write so eloquently as a women I will never ever ever be able to comprehend. I was given this book by my mother at a time where that title grabbed her and refused to let go when she handed it to me we both had a mutual understanding of why. I knew she wanted to given me something that would never leave me and she did just that. I never have forgotten it. Read it. Believe me just do it.

7) Candlemoth - Roger Jon Ellory
This book is the last few moments of Daniel Ford in which he reiterates his life to a Father John Rousseau. It shows you the first time him and the man who he is accused of murdering first met as children, how they grew up together, when he became a man all the way through his life up until the day he is to be executed. The twist in it you do not see coming. Great read! Beautifully written.

8) Tambulaine Must Die - Louise Welsh
This is a very short book - I'd say it's a train ride book. It transports you to a time of the Plague, ale-houses and loyalty to the Queen could save your life. It is gothic, atmospheric, elegiac, fast flowing and you cannot put it down. I love it! If you have a spare few hours - read it.

9) The Perfect Husband - Lisa Gardner
This was actually bought for by my husband. It's kinda funny... in a scary way I suppose. But  I love this book. Gore. Horror. Suspense. It is just terrifyingly real. Its keeps you hostage until you have finished reading. Tess Becket - a good girl from an little town married Jim thinking he was going to be her knight in shining armour from her abusive father, he was going to love and care for her. Then he burns her most loved possessions as a punishment for any type of questioning. She soon begins to see him for what he really is and so do the police. He is convicted of the murder of 10 women. Mutilating, raping and leaving them to be found. She feels safe and is ready to start afresh until she finds out he isn't in a cell anymore- and he wants revenge. His escape starts a manhunt of impossible proportions because he is not just him - he takes on different peoples looks/lives just to commit his crimes. Will he really be able to fulfill the 'till death do us part' vow? I just want to say: Read it!!!!

10) The First Fingerprint - Xaiver- Marie Bonnot
This is a translation from english and tbf I can see why it was translated. It is so good. The twists and turns of this book are intense. What you don't know as oppose to do know i are what makes this book so compelling. Two bodies are found. Both women but that is where the similarites /connections seem to stop but De Palma doesn't agree. Digging a little deeper isn't an option - he must delve into a mystery that goes back as far as the Ice Age.


So these are my ten books! Sorry that the synopsis' are all a bit vague - if I start to talk I'll give the whole book away. Do yourselves a favor and just read them!

Are there any books that you love too? Did you like any of the ones in my list?

Anyways!!!!!!

Bye,
Monica
         xxx

Thursday, 25 October 2012

Okay so...

Winter. I love winter. The cold air and finger-numbing wind is just a good excuse to bloody wrap up warm in a cozy blanket, big thick socks, a hot water bottle, put the heaters right up, watch shit t.v and eat food that makes you fat. 

Me and my Maa call it hibernation... I feel like that word ought have been a little more unique instead of a word that already is in use for the precise (more or less) meaning of what I just described... Okay, lets come up with a new one... How about humanation? Oh that sounds horrible, like some sort of cannibalism... This post is getting weird...


So yes, recently I have decided to maybe do something with my vast and mostly wasted time. These days I just sit around and mope about my plush (plush is such a good word, I'm almost certain it is onomatopoetic... although, it's probably really isn't).

Today, I have vowed to get all my housework done by 12pm - at the latest-  so I have the day to do... whatever my heart doth desire to do (I just sneezed 5 times in a row... T-T). 

Also I have pick'd up'th my noble charcoal and notepad and made an oath much like a commandment that went a little like this "THOU SHALT DRAW!!!" whilst standing upon my bed in a Napoleon-esque fashion... I am that sad, yes. I am not terribly amazing at drawing but it makes me happy to look at something I have done. I was given the creative side of the gene pool so I am good at writing, drawing, making up stories (although I am shite at lying- I always get caught) and being as unorganized as possible. My sister and brother were blessed with looks, charm, intelligence and weirdness - it's is a family trait, I'm serious. My family are point blank a little different to say the least; anyone to have met us have all said the same thing. I always get the same word banded around when I ask that stupid imperative you ask your mates once a year for f**** knows why but we do it - Describe me in three words. The first thing anyone in the history of my asking that question is 'unique'... *shudders* I have now begun to harbor such an utter and vast disdain for the word that any time it is used I make a face like a small Asian Hulk-ette.

Dudes... it's almost November. What is with that? It's odd thinking about it now but soon we will be making our new New Years resolutions just to abandon them by march all over again. This past year has been a hectic one. I have been through so many changes I can barely recognise myself when I look in the mirror. I feel like a different person altogether. My hair is much longer now, just at my knees. My skin has cleared up -I was one of those girls who had horrid problems with spots. I am a little taller and a little bit more feminine - I now actually look like a girl instead of a 12-year-old choir boy. I am far more relaxed and calmer in myself. I blame my husband for that. I remember one day in particular where he was in stitches but I was fuming in the oddest way - I was pissed off about being so chilled. I felt like if I was anymore laid back I would actually be lying down. I was beginning to find myself boring. So ( I just typed and retyped that single 'so' about 6 times because I couldn't get the s capital but the o was like 'hey I'm big!!!') naturally I did what any normal girl does... I rang my Maa. She told me that is what happens when you grow up you stop being a million miles an hour. Most of my friends if asked will probably say it was like I was on crack 24/7 I was always so hyper and full of life but now I'm just... just. It's cool in one way. Like I have absolutely nothing to worry about apart from what colour my nails are to be or how my hair may be styled even, if so. Idk I love being relaxed but sometimes I wish I could be a little louder.

I painted my nails the other day. I now have penguin nails. I'm not sure what to do next - is it too early to go all festive? Ohhhhhh it's Eid tomorrow maybe I should do something Asian-y, all glitzy with too much colour. Hmmm... Idk.

I seem to be using that sentence a lot  lately. "I don't know". It is annoying me. I don't like not knowing. Do you ever have those days/weeks/months where the world just seems to be passing you by? You don't know what day it is or what date it is just life is doing it's own thing and you're getting left behind. That was deep, man.

Anyways... I want orange juice so, Bye!


Monica
             xxx

Tuesday, 16 October 2012

For you face...

Today is Tuesday... I don't like them either. My husband had a horrid reaction to a soap he used a while back but has been waiting for it to clear up alone... typical men, no?

"I don't need directions...". 
"I don't need the instructions!".
"I am fine; it'll go down on it's own".
That is man talk, just like woman talk it means the complete opposite.

I couldn't think of something to write about today so instead (not that I am a domestic goddess) I thought I would write up a recipe for really yummy pasta that I was literally just cooking. It's fast and easy as hell.

You will need:
- 1 tin of chopped tomatoes
- some grated cheese
- about 10 mushrooms
- pasta
- mixed herbs
- salt
- onion
- lemon juice
- mince/salami
- oil
- water

1- Put the pasta on boil in a pan and leave it to do it's own thing.

2- Whilst your pasta is a-cookin' cook the onions in a little oil until brown and then add the mince. Once done put it in a bowl and leave to one side.

3- Put the tomatoes in the pan. Add just a little lemon juice, however much cheese you want ( unless you are lactose intolerant...), a pinch of salt, a little water, mixed herbs and let that chill until it simmers then stir in the mince. Let that have a little chill time too.

Where is your pasta?

4 - While your pasta sauce is cooking check on your pasta if it's done then drain it, if not then just keep an eye :)

5- Grab your mushrooms! Now in a pan put a little oil, salt and mixed herbs and heat it a little- when ready add the mushrooms. Cook them until they are soft then just add them to the pasta sauce you got going on. Let it simmer at a low heat for a while or until it looks a little thick. If it looks like it's going to get dry/burn then just add a little water and keep letting it simmer.

6- Your pasta and sauce ought to be done by now! So mix it up. Make sure all the pasta has sauce on it. Take it off the heat, put the lid on and leave it while you get the table ready.

7- Plate up and OM-NI-NOM-NI-NOM... NOM-NOM-NOM!!! :B

You don't have to use mushrooms, you can use any vegetable or fungi ;) If you don't like cheese you can use maybe cornflour to thicken the sauce and it doesn't really matter what pasta you use. So easy, so quick and super easy to switch up :)

Happy cooking!

Anyways, lovelies my mister is still a little poorly and needs lots of hugs - you know dudes! But in his defence he is actually poorly :/


Monica
         xxx

Monday, 15 October 2012

Nails...

Ugh, it's Monday. I hate Mondays. Like the weekend is so good. Just duvets, sweets and having the hubby around all the time. I miss him when he is at work, like I know it's just 9-5 but it's I get all 'meeeeeeeeeeeehhhhh... I don't like this'. On t.v when I see couples kissing or like in music videos ( I have MTV on all day) I'm like *sigh* I want kisses now. Is it me or after a bad day you just want to fall into you man arms? I always used to say that a guy is the perfect height when- a girls head is in line with his chest and when she wears heels her lips are in line with his. I got my wish. OMG!!!!! The mister has told me I grew!! I have been like 5'3 since I was 16! I took to wearing heels after I got married just to feel a little taller. So yeah... I'm really happy... T-T"

Sundays are kinda awesome. Baths, cooking, clean sheets and the best bit... NEW NAILS!

Nail polish has been around since the Incas -they would decorate their nails with eagles and The Egyptians would use red henna. In the 19th century cookbooks had how-to-make tutorials in them for housewives. Actual polishes originated from China and were made of a number of natural substances. Nail polishes first as per tradition came in pink, clear, red and brown. French manicures were at their height in 1920-30s, black nails were adopted by goths and emos in the 70s. Nail stamps and stickers are a quick, easy and they last for ages.

From perfectly preened manicures to the super sexy chipped red or hot pink nail. Nails can be super simple, bold block colours or deadly detailed Nicki Minaj-esque ones. Nails are now seen as a form of self expression.

My nail obsession started just after my little sister was born. She was always a super girly girl so I would paint her tiny little nails. I first started painting my own all white apart from my ring fingers which I painted bright hot pink; as I got older my nails got more elaborate. I went through different coloured manicure, band initials on each nail in black over white paint, block colours and so on and so forth. I never really tried nail stickers or fake nails. I grow my nails long enough for them to constantly be mistaken for fake nails. I'm lucky.

Just a few examples!

Currently I am rocking the strawberry nails! I love doing them myself. After my nice long shower, I put the t.v on and the heaters then I lovingly paint my nails, taking as much time and as much effort as a man does whilst servicing their cars whilst my husband watches me over my shoulder. I spend hours trawling the Internet looking for new designs to do.

Youtube beauty channels cutepolish, SimpleLittlePleasues (yes I know it is spelt wrong- that's how they spell it) and Pixie Polish as far as I am concerned are the best. The tutorials are easy to follow and the designs are just so cute.   

Nail polishes and which are the best depends on who you talk to. I have a like modest 20 bottle strong collection of polishes, I love them all but they are all from different brands including Models Own, Nails Inc., Rimmel, Barry M, Revlon, Maxfactor and Boots' Natural collection.


Whats your favourite nail polish/colour?

Anywaaaaaaaaaaaaaays... I think you can tell I'm a bit meh... so yeah better go and eat gherkins... 
Oh yeah and sorry but the weekend is mine! So, no posts :(

Monica
         xxx