Wednesday, 15 January 2014
Okay so as you all know I have like weird things I do and strange phobias. I think it would be funny to tell you my phobias.
1) Smelling bad
OH MY GOD. Like this one is a big one for me, like I know like two people who have/had really bad BO problem like idk if it was like a hormonal thing or if they just didn't wash properly but da-a-yum did this girl stink. It was everywhere though on her clothes, on her, in her wardrobe, her towels. Just everything. Like she would bathe and still smell. Her clothes would come out of the wash and still stink. I mean I used to have a similar problem with clothes still smelling like my perfume after they had been washed but that's a nice smell. Like a really nice smell, so it's not really a problem you know? But seriously idk what it was but yeah it was bad. If I think I'm sweating or I know I am then I have to like to this whole weird ritual before I'm okay with myself. Like I carry deodorant and spray and a small vial of my perfume and a small pot of baby powder and a small pack of baby wipes. Basically a load of stuff because in terrified of smelling bad. Idk what triggered my fear of it but it is a genuine fear. I get scared and like creeped out by myself to the extent that I come out in a rash on my hands. I get so stressed out if I think I smell. It's so strange.
I'm actually scared of toilets to the extent I actually won't pee. I don't like using them, I don't like looking at them, I don't like anything about them. I hate the sound of flushing. I hate the sound of peeing. I hate everything about Toilets and using them. When I go out if I'm in a familiar place I use the same toilet. I will never deviate. If its a big ladies bathroom then I will be okay even if there are people but if its small and there is more than one person in the room I freak out and get scared. Idk why. There has to be noise. Omg I panic if a ladies bathroom is quite. Like even at home I run the tap, even if I'm home alone. Like my sister and I take it in turns to go to the bathroom and then we run the dryer and taps just so we can pee. I had a similar routine with my best friend Ev. I don't think I ever went to the bathroom, at college, once without Ev.
3) Dirt on my fingers
This is a weird one because I eat nearly everything with my hands, because I don't like cutlery but things that like stick to my fingers I don't like. Like crisps I eat with chopsticks and things with powdery flavoured surfaces that cling to saliva wet fingers freaks me out. I don't like it idk why. It gets under my nails and sticks to my fingers and makes my skin crawl. Ugh.
They have to be the right way. I have this cushion that my Maa got me that has a cupcake pattern on it, if its put the wrong way around I get really stressed until I turn it around. If the sofa cushions or the duvet are not the way I do it I get antsy and genuinely feel uncomfortable. Like if I do something one way it HAS to stay that way because otherwise it actually makes me upset, if it stays like that then I feel myself getting itchy. I have to have the little foosball footballers have to be straight and the air hockey puck has to be in the middle of the table and the like hitty things are in the middle of the marks at each end. The glasses and cups on the sink have to be small to big, going from left to right.
I actually never used to have this is my hubby's fault. I have to do things in order other wise I get confused and it makes me stressed and its been known to make me tearful. I know it's stupid.
This one is only bad when I'm stressed. Like if I'm not feeling myself or something big is going on I go crazy clean mode. I've been know to clean for five straight hours because I cannot stop and to do the while house or certain things three times over. Until it is done I cannot eat or sit still. It's silly. Like the whole house stinks of cleaning fluids when my hubby walks in and he basically chokes as soon as it hits him. Everything gets cleaned, even if it's been cleaned the day before. The toothbrush will come out - I have an old toothbrush that I use to clean little nooks that other things can't reach.
This one is just funny. I don't like even numbers. I have like a specific set of number I like. It goes:
That's about it. I don't like numbers more than that but if I have to then I will pick the number with the oddest numbers. Volumes on the TV, oven temperatures, minutes on the microwave, volume on the speakers, things like that really.
I put things in a certain way. Usually small to big, going left to right. My books have to all be the same size in groups. My DVDs are all ordered by rating. U, PG, 12, 15, 18 and then I order them within rating by who owns the film.
I genuinely are terrified of silence. Idk why. It really does scare me. I like automatically have to start making some sort of noise. I feel like there are things behind me to the extent I have to have my back against a wall. If I'm really stressed it feels like there is something right behind me but I can see it in my minds eye but I'm so scared I can't move to reassure myself there is nothin there. Does that even make sense? Like I am imagining its really there. Ugh idk.
OMG I cannot shake hands with people. I can tell you the only three times I have shook someone's hand in the last 5 years - my husbands because we were having a conversation about people with limp handshakes and people that don't know how to, and then the other two are friends of my Maa - they are a lovely couple, who my mother raves about continuously and it was the first I'd met either of them, ever and both gentlemen offered their hands to shake and I had literally no choice other than to offend my Maa's very good friends so I shook. It's not like idk because I'm scared of germs (I am in other cases like railings and door handles, etc.) but with hands it's more that its far to personal for me - I'm so backwards sometimes like a hug to me is less personal than a handshake cuz like I hug my mates and pretty much everyone (well, I used to) but with a handshake you are basically holding someone's hand for a short moment and I really don't like that. I only hold my Hubby's hand, my siblings and my Maa's. it's too much for me. I never used to have like personal space issues but now I do - like I can deal with people I don't know closer than a metre in front of me or big crowds. I just can't do it. Eww. Yuck. Ugh.
Anyways, that was a little bit of my weirdness.
Monday, 13 January 2014
Okay it's so time for my festive period blog! I know I'm like seriously late but I've ha so much going on!
I have had a great festive time! Like my brother and sister came around to the house and we had them for a few days and we even had an early Christmas dinner- it was sooo cute! I'll put some pictures up on the Facebook page but yeah it was so good having them around! We slept late and ate sweets. There was a lot of movie watching, snuggling and general whaling about (when I say whaling I mean like being fat and no moving much, not like killing whales with giant spears and shit, I'm like totally against that). We were going to wait and have the Christmas presents on the same day as we have the Christmas dinner but one of the presents was in danger of going off - my little brother made me box of chocolates! He even made the box and put tissue paper decorations but he didn't finish the little guide to what each of them were so he just told me as I stuffed my little face with them. He made me one that was a glacier cherry covered in marizipan and then again covered in chocolate, a marshmallow one dipped in chocolate and decorated with a smartie, one with fudge and nuts in chocolate and the last one was a raisin and chocolate one. One they were so nice! I was like nom nom nom and the my hubby asked me if I left any for him and I was like “no I was scared they had egg in”. He knew I was lying. I just like chocolate. When I was younger I loved chocolate but I didn't eat much of it now like I can't get those really big bars you know that ones that are for sharing or whatever and eat a whole one. I tear like the top bit of the wrapper off and start eating it like a normal size chocolate bar. Lol. Like you have no idea how good it feels doing that when girls cut me evils and I'm like munching on my giant bar of chocolate when they are going to the gym and eating salads - I fucking love my metabolism. But yeah it was a great present. Because I'm a weirdo I wanted to buy my little brother cool pants, I got him like nine brightly coloured patterned ones they are so cool! My hubby got him a few infinity characters and I got him a book too. It was cute. My little sister got her awesome presents from my husband: an Aquabeads set and I think it was called a Gelarti set - it's like this sticker making set but we got her the foil version as she already has the other one and I got her a bunch of lego. My hubby got me a sonic screw driver - like I'm not even kidding. I have a sonic screw driver. It's the Matt Smith one and it makes all the awesome noises!! You can program it to be a remote for your electronics, I'm yet to do it but I can't wait!!! I got my hubby a few presents. So I think like all guys need a lava lamp for their bachelor pads however my hubby never really had that but like a lot of the time me and my hubby are like mates living together. If you came into our home you would think its the home of a student who's mummy and daddy like baby to have nice things and has a live in girl friend who's pretty cool. It really doesn't look like a married adult couples home. We have lots of random things that we have picked up on our random nights out like in one corner of our home we have a fire extinguisher, a mini traffic cone and a flashing security light. We recently got a foosball table and a Air hockey table too. My hubby wanted to buy me this Swarovski brooch I'd seen but I didn't really like it that much so he got those two instead. Cute. So yeah I thought he could have a blue lava lamp for his kinda bachelor pad. Then I got him two posters, one is the Hour of Chaos poster and the other was meant to be a Muhammed Ali one but somehow managed to be an Ed Sheeran one instead - it's a good thing he like him, I was so upset. Stupid HMV. I know how much guys love tape measures so I got him a tape measure with he kept playing with and lastly I got him a little Mr Men book. He seemed to love them. OMG my wrapping paper was so cool! I got this like nebula/galaxy wrapping paper, I'll put up a pic on the Facebook page. I put this weird fake snow blanket thing down on the floor and then covered it with fake snow confetti stuff and then sprinkled shitloads of glitter on top of it! It looked so cute just in the corner of the living room! I taught the hubby to wrap presents this Christmas it was so sweet. He isn't really good at fiddly things but he did so so so well! He wrapped my present all by himself and even wrote me a really cute card. Gosh I love him. Lol.
I made lamb roast for the first time ever!! Twice in less than a week and both times it was so nice!!!! Like I'm so proud of my self that it didn't end up all shit and horrible! I've made Christmas dinner once before but that was chicken and that was easy but yeah omg it was soooo nice. We made sammiches for like three days after it was so yummy! I might like do a foodie one next Christmas or like Easter that would be cool. I even made my own gravy and it was quite nice not as thick as usual but still nommy. I was happy but it was a bit gutting that my Maa couldn't be there. She had to attend to business which totally sucked but the kids got two Christmas which is kinda badass. It's strange but its my life lol.
Things are so cool in my life atm. Like we had such a cute New Years too! We went down to Millennium Square thinking there was gunna be a count down, turned out there was fuck all but there was a bunch of weirdo Asians making twats of themselves acting all lairy and twatty. It was funny cuz there was this chick who I'm guess was a boner garage for one of them but OMG she was so embarrassed by their behaviour and then like at 12 she didn't even get kisses tbh I think if he had tried to kiss her she would have got pissed off because she was trying to take a selfie. Lol. Midnight romantic New Years kiss? Fuck off I need to Instagram my own fucking face. Ugh. Lol. I amuse myself sometimes.
OMG so lets like talk New Years resolutions, right? So like this year my goals are to put some fucking weight on. I need to get a little meaty cuz my hubby is finding to easy to throw me about - I'm like a fucking toy to him. He turns me upside down and spins me around and basically I'm like his own little play thing. It's cool and all, tbh it's kinda funny - plus it usually ends up in me getting a kiss but like it would be funny him trying to throw around a little fat me. Lol. Also I need to get a little more organised. Like my OCD is cool and all but I mean like timing wise. I'm shit with timing, like if I'm meant to be somewhere at a certain time, chances are I'm going to be late cuz I'm a total plank like that. Idk wtf even happens. It like one minute it's 11am and then it's 12:30pm and I'm late for my hubby's lunch time. I think I want to start baking again and maybe like learn to do something new - knitting or a language. Or like learn about a new topic - I might get the new syllabus for a level human phys. I love human biology. I think I'll get back to creative writing - I use to write loads now I more like blog and Facebook... Which totally isn't the same. I want to re-read every book I have read that left an impression on me. All this is total fucking bullshit obviously, this year I'm gunna just become crazy cat lady and that's about all that's going to change about me. Lol. I love like all the status' people put up - all “new year, new me!”, on about shifting the Christmas weight but its like yeeeeah sure. You know?
Anyways I need to shout out to one of my best friends like this girl is so fucking amazing. She travelled all the way from Exeter to Leeds just for my birthday. She is one of the best people I know and recently she has had a really tough time. I just want to say that Jenni Benni ily baby :)
So yeah. I hope you're having a great new year!
Love, as always,