Thursday, 30 July 2015

Ode to Sahi

Ode to Sahi

I remember the day you were born. 
So fragile and new. 
The first time I saw you I wept, for fear you would not survive- you tiny frame didn't look capable of life but a decade has passed and here you are. 

My little brother. I love you, little brother. 

I'm sorry. I made you a promise that day, the same I made our sister - that I would always look after you. I have failed to keep this promise but please do not hold this against me for I love you more than any sister could love a brother. And though I will keep trying to keep this, I apologize in advance for the times I will fall short and not honor this. 

You are so similar to myself and I know that it should make it easier for me to understand you but if I'm honest I don't particularly enjoy my own company and find myself irritating and unfortunately for you I pawned that off onto you. I will try harder to love you and be there more.  

I like to think I taught you how to be weird like me and I'm sorry I find the very qualities I taught you annoying. It is my fault not yours. 

You are smart and funny. You're electric with excitement and energy and that is sometimes tiring but it's not your fault that I'm old and miserable! You've grown so much but please don't lose the little things that are so essential to you. 

Be loving and caring yet do not allow other to hurt you, including me. Be thirsty for knowledge and read books forever. Wear your heart on your sleeve and forget to wash the shirt. Laugh incessantly and be the joker, however maybe learn when to stop and when things stop being funny. 

I love you little brother, or should I say "just" brother. Your height rivals my own and let's face it - you're not so little anymore. 

I'm sorry for the days after I got married where you hurt, the days where you miss me, the days I hurt you. I'm sorry for calling you names and being mean. 

I hope you will always come to me for anything you need and know I will do my ear to help. I may not be a hero but I'd like to be a helping hand. 

So, go. Go into the world and have a great time, create memories and relationships. Find yourself and know I'll be here when you do, in the meantime while you still search for who you are and while you grow; please afford me the understanding that I still see you as a toddler and I'm struggling with your adolescence. 

I love you little brother. Or should I say "just" brother.

Lots of love,


Monday, 27 July 2015

Let's get together.

Okay guys so I know I haven't been posting a lot in the last few months but I've been in a weird funk lately and a few things have been happening but I'm trying to get back into it. 

So back in college I met a girl called Kirsty - she was nice enough and we got along, good acquaintances, you know? When I moved back to Exeter and was pregnant we got back in touch and it turns out she is my brain twin and is as bat shit as me which was lovely. Lol. Pregnancy made us bond and motherhood bought us closer. She is my BFFL! Lol. Check out her tumblr:

The reason I'm telling you about her is because I kinda want to start a YouTube channel with her. Something interactive that takes us out of our comfort zone and pushes us slightly. You know? She is kickass with a makeup brush and I can make stuff? Idk. I was gunna do food but one thing we wanted to do is podcasts (originally videos, but we haven't got the set up T-T") of our dates because we think you guys would wet yourself laughing at some of the horrendous things we say. We are still trying to come up with the fine details. Like names and timetables but we really want to do this. 

Something we really want to run along side it, is a Spreadshirt store - it would be so fucking cool if we did that. We have some really fun ideas that we want to put out out there, that we think are really unique.

Another thing I was thinking about was adding a fanfic side to my blog. My husbands been quite adamant that I should not be even considering this because - in his words- "it's super lame" but I just can't help but feel that isn't true. I set this blog as a way to empty my head and exercise my creativity. The shit you guys put up with from me is ridiculous - I don't really blog for views and yet I have nearly 10,000 views. I blog because I love to write and I love thinking that someone somewhere is laughing at me cuz I am a weirdo. I love expanding ways to connect. At first it was just my blog, then I added my playlist so you guys can listen to what I'm listening to and it got a great response - I've have over 5000 views on that single playlist, I added another playlist last month and that has gained so many views too! I myself out there and I don't think "hey am I boring people?", I mean if I did I would never blog. 

I don't know. It's still really up in the air but I really want to do this. 

What do you guys think?



Wednesday, 22 July 2015

My Top Ten Loves Atm

So I was in Superdrug picking up my husbands lotion and I needed like everything but I was in a weird phase where all my regular go-tos were not working for me - like shampoo, conditioner, body lotion, shower gel, just a everything and the stuff I usually use are in Boots like -15 minutes away (well...5 minutes but with the pushchair and my back/hips walking anywhere is just too much) so I'm like "fuck it, I'm getting everything here". 

I start wondering around and I keep finding everything I want but by Superdrug and actually on offer which was cool. Usually I spend like idk £30 on my bathroom products, which isn't much but when they've stopped working it's annoying, I could have spent that on cake. I like cake. But yeah I'm like "Let's try some new stuff and see how goes", now considering I've pretty much used every damn product in major store because I have to switch it up every few months, that can be difficult. But here we are:

1) PRO Vitamin Full Volume Shampoo and Conditioner Superdrug

Tbh I didn't really have much of an expectation for this but it smelled so good, but the clincher was that it is not animal tested. I loved that, I am trying to be more animal/environmentally friendly now that I have a baby it makes me think more. I'm not like crazy good at it but every little helps, right? So yeah. Oh god, it was glorious. The formula is thick and lathers so well- you don't need loads of either and that's with my hair. What's even cooler is that the products are almost level in use - which is crazy for me, I get through conditioner like London professional gets through cocaine but this time there isn't much difference between the bottles. 400mls of conditioner has never lasted me more than two weeks but we are in week three and I still have some. The packaging is simple and pretty. All round this is a good product and I will definitely be repurchasing this, possibly one of the others in this line. 

2) Superdrug Body Butter Cherry Macadamia

THIS STUFF IS INSANE. It is thick, creamy, so nourishing and smells gorgeous. Paraben free, cruelty free, suitable for vegans and vegetarians, dermatologically tested and made with natural extracts, honestly it is hands down the best I've used. I love everything about it. My husband gropes me even more now, he's like "YOU ARE SO SOFT, COME HERE" and then he gropes me 😏 definitely buying this forever from now on. 

3) Anti-Bacterial Hand Gel Superdrug 

I am always in the market for a new sanitizer. I can't seem to find a giant pump of Purell so I'm having to make do with little bottles, but I keep them in my handbags and stuff so it's not so bad that they are small. This is my favorite so far it's fragrance free, cruelty free and suitable for vegans and vegetarians and it's only 99p for a 100ml bottle. Now I use sanitizer for everything, I use it when removing makeup, after shaving, as a deodorant and a hand sanitizer, this one is so good. If you are in Superdrug stock up on a few, I will be!

4) Moisture Shower Creme Jojoba, Calendula and Rose Superdrug

Okay so now I'm really thinking about it and writing it this is an okay buy. I only really use this for the smell, a little extra softness and for a little more slick when shaving. But it's good, I think I will however be going back to my old Nivea Diamomd Touch or possibly try a shower oil. 

5) Body Shop Bamboo Paddle Brush 

Fucking stop everything. Stop it all. This hairbrush is everything. I have long AF hair we all know this and after my son was born I lost it in clumps, it became so thin and just kept falling, then my old Thomas Sorbie brush broke and I was in the market for a new one. I did a little search and this kept coming up. My husband bought it home for me and I nearly cried the first time I brushed with it. I used to lose a ball of hair the size of my fist every time I brushed my hair and it would take near enough 30 minute  to brush it. I would dread it, brushing my hair ended in tears so many times. My husband would even brush it for me just to try and help. But this brush... Oh god. On average it takes five minutes to brush my hair now and I barely lose any hair, it's been the best not wanting to cry every time I brush my hair and just seeing it all fall out. I even tested it but not brushing my hair for three days, I left it all down when I slept, didn't comb it when I washed it and went out with it down too- still it gave me the same results. If you need a new brush do yourself a favor and buy this. 

6) Dream Matte Mousse by Maybelline New York in 60 Caramel

After my Summer Without Makeup blog I really did stop wearing makeup pretty much. It was a turning point for me, when I was pregnant I wore just tint and eyeliner and after I didn't have the time tbh. But my husband was invited to a wedding and I had to look nice so I was forced to buy some but even then I totally suck- I was in Sainsbury (for those who don't live in the UK- it's a supermarket) and I just picked it up. I didn't even try it. I just grabbed it and tossed it in my basket (that sounds dirty). But it's everything. I don't like perfect, flawless foundation for me it looks unnatural - marks, scars and blemishes are fine. If you wanted you could use a bit more to hide everything along with some concealer and you would be peachy but I prefer a soft look, I like my marks and such just to be blurred a bit and this just evens my skin out and fades everything enough to look clear but not gone. It's not heavy, lasts all day, doesn't go shiny when it's hot and doesn't make me break out. It's breathable. It's lovely. It also doubles as a perfect toy for my son when I'm trying to do my makeup lol. 

7) The Vintage Company Eyelash curlers 

Do. Not. Buy. Any. Other. Lash. Curlers. Ever. 

I mean it. Spring loaded, simple silver design, good strong rubber lash cushion - this is the only lash curler you will ever need. It is my new love. I'm going to be doing a "get ready with me" where I will show you how I get eyelashes like a fucking Tumblr post and these are pivotal to this. 

8) Rimmel London Moisture Renew 180 Vintage Pink

I have really odd coloured lips, they are dark and light and just weird. I like to use this in place of a nude (nude looks dumb on me) to keep it natural, it just evens it out. I love it for casual wear. I am looking for a red and a bolder pink but while I'm looking, this is perfect. 

9) Rimmel London Glam'Eyes Liquid Eye Liner

This liner is perfect for me. I don't like to look done up, I prefer to look just put together and this liner gives me that super thin controlled line that looks really natural. I love it. 

10) Diorshow ICONIC by Dior

I had a tester of this when I was young and loved it as a sort of separating stage mascara but now I'm older I wanted something that looked flawless with minimal effort and this is it. I use one coat, you heard me- one. That is to get my desired look, if you wanted thick, curly lashes this is not for you, not one bit. But if you want natural looking, insane long lashes that last for days and look perfect the this is for you. I'm going to be doing a whole blog on just my lashes because it Dior for fucks sake. It deserves everything. 

So that was my top ten! What products are you obsessed in atm?