Sunday, 13 December 2015

I'm Pro-My-Indivdiual-Views

So the past few weeks on my timeline, a couple of things have popped up. Firstly, this story about a man in the US who basically shot up a clinic where they perform abortions, along side many other services; he injured nine people and killed three,it was widely reported that after his arrest he was heard to say "no more baby parts", he was of course referring to the claims that Planned  Parenthood is selling fetal tissue and other thing that has been dominating my time line are the statements that Tyson "I-punched-myself-in-the-face" Fury has been spouting to the media at any given chance about how his religion condemns paedophilia, homosexuality and abortions and that they should and will be made illegal (according to him, anyways) now I'm not here to talk about how absurd the first mans logic is or how America needs to fucking quit it with the guns or even how much of an absolute idiot Tyson Fury is but it did spark the whole pro-choice/pro-life debate in my head. 

I'm not anyone of substance when it comes to this topic but if you are here you aren't here for ground-breaking journalism you're here to read my opinion and that's it. 

Personally, I cannot commit to either, or because I, honestly think by doing do so, you trivialise life and makes it into something that is detached, it becomes a subject of political gain and debate as oppose to a very personal decision. 

I don't think I could ever have one, just because I have a child and his face when he was first born would come into my mind and it would stop me. I just couldn't bring myself to do it, if it had been up to some people I would have been aborted but look at me... I am kick ass, motherfuckers. If my mum hadn't decided she wanted me and it didn't matter if no one else did,then I wouldn't be here to have married my husband and had my son. I'm forever grateful the one person wanted me even before they knew me. The potential of life is very dear to me as my brother and sister were both very premature children, I had to see them in incubators and wires, they fought for life everyday while other babies born a few weeks after them didn't make it. As a child the first person I lost was a brother who was born prematurely, we ended up using his name as our sons middle name. So, I just feel that life is so fragile and ought to be given more consideration/respect than it really is.

I, do not believe anyone has the right to tell any sane, of-age person what to do with their own body. If it isn't attached to you, you can fuck off; you don't get to decide what happens. If you are one part of the equation and only you want the baby, you need to sit the fuck down and talk about it, do you really want this? Are you going to be the one carrying this baby? If not, then I'm really sorry but, you can't force someone to carry a fetus that they don't want for 9-months. I would never express my explicit opinion to/on any individual having an abortion -  I don't know them or the situation/circumstances that they found themselves in. I wouldn't tell anyone that they should or shouldn't have an abortion - I would however, try to advise them best as I could and tell them what I would do in their specific situation because I wouldn't feel comfortable being part of a decision that I, personally wouldn't make.

I do think there are many grey areas though.

For instance the when rape is involved, we are programmed to think that this child is less than any other child. It isn't, a life is a life - if the victim/mother wants to keep the baby, who are we to tell her to abort the child? We are no one. If she wants to keep the child, no one should ever say to her "aren't you reminded of your ordeal?", that is none of your business. That child didn't do anything, why are you condemning that child? In that same vein if the mother feels that a child would be a negative influence on her then she is perfectly within her right to say "I cannot do this", no one should be able to tell her otherwise but a life was still lost here.

Children are innocents, bought into this world for only selfish reasons. Having a child is honestly, one of the most selfish things that you can do, you are essentially playing God, they didn't ask to be here, they didn't ask to be born. If you know you can't give them the life they deserve or they will be in danger or a negative situation then I can try to understand why you wouldn't want a child. If you aren't of sound mind (or don't want to) to care for them during pregnancy and then give them up for adoption I, can try to understand. A baby is a baby and life no matter what stage of gestation, we can put whatever labels and words we want as to what is a viable fetus and what makes it okay and what doesn't, we can talk about women who can't have children and would love to be pregnant, we can do all of that until we are blue in the face but at the end of the day - a life is a life, that baby is not more or less important than the person carrying it but you cannot endanger an existing one to accommodate for a developing one. In this case the phrase "The good of the many, outweigh the good of the few" is pretty much the base line, it's a heart-breaking truth. Before I had my son I was told if I was to get pregnant it wouldn't end very well for either of us and that was made very clear to me, even at the first pregnancy appointment the doctor very directly said "well, you shouldn't be pregnant", they predicted a lot of problems and they did many tests to try and catch them as early as possible but I was lucky, however I was told at some point I may have to choose between my life and that of the child I was carrying - the thought of leaving my husband a widow and a single father was devastating for me but that would be a choice I would not be able to make.

One thing I am really sensitive about though is the use of abortion just because you were not careful. If you are having unprotected sex, the likeliness is you are going to get pregnant. If you live in the UK, contraception is so easy to get hold of, if the only reason you haven't got a condom at the very least is because you couldn't be bothered or you were embarrassed- you are a fucking bitch - and I am not aiming this at women - anyone; you are a fucking bitch. If you are going to have sex and there is a chance you can get pregnant from it involved you better put something between you and getting sperm anywhere near an egg. For real. It's more effort to go through an abortion, its more effort to have a child. It's way more embarrassing having your cervix jammed by a midwife, while fluid pours out of your nether orifice. An abortion is not pleasant process so why take that chance? And any fucker that tells you "it doesn't feel as good" or "they don't fit me" when you bring up condoms, can go wank in a sock. If you think you are mature enough for sex, then you are sure as shit old enough to practice safe sex; if you think you are grown up enough to have intercourse then, babycakes you are grown up enough to go and seek out contraception. If your partner doesn't care about your safety and wellbeing, please don't let them put any appendages into/on your body. Contraception is so readily available in the UK, the variety of long/short term and emergency methods of prevention are so vast and reliable that honestly, it is almost inexcusable to let it get to the point of an abortion. There are implants, injections, barriers, IUDs, tubal litigation for the ones who really do not want babies, how can you get to the point where you are weeks pregnant and don't want to be? 

The fact you could get up the duff is obviously the paramount premise of this blog but also - SEXUALLY TRANSMITTED DISEASES AND INFECTIONS. You don't know where the other person has been - do you know how many people in monogomas relationships find out that their dearly beloved is a cheating fucker because they have an itchy hoo-hah/jingle-wobble. I don't care who you are, who your doing it with, what you are doing - practicing safe sex is what you should be doing anytime you are having sex. It's honestly the easier route, prevention is better than the cure- if you can't keep yo'self to yo'self then you better fucking keep safe. Right now, just google "sexually transmitted diseases" if it doesn't put you off your food just a little, then please by all means go to a GUM clinic and ask them what the worst case scenario is.

I know abortion is a really touchy subject but I just don't feel like it really should be, other peoples decisions as to what to do with their bodies isn't really up to anyone but them, you can have opinions on what ever you want and share them if you feel the need to however you cannot demand anyone adhere to your views and way of life. 

If you are pregnant and you are looking at an abortion as an option, consult with your doctor and perhaps trusted loved ones to make an informed, careful and suitable decisions for yourself. Do what is best for you, in your situation. 

Lots of love, hope and hugs,

Monica
      xxx